Three years ago yesterday, Michael and I faced one of the hardest days of our married lives. We had to release Moses back into the hands of our Heavenly Father. The days between him being at GBMC and being transferred to Hopkins seem like a blur at times -- other times I can see it clear as a bell in my mind's eye. I remember how my heart practically stopped when they called for the crash carts... I remember how I felt completely helpless to fix my sweet boy... I remember the long drive to Hopkins and all the time I had to think about the "what if's"... I remember the heart ache of telling the doctors it was okay to let him go... but I also remember the incredible, amazing peace that both Michael and I felt after he was gone from this earth... I remember that Moses finally looked healthy, without any struggles.
I took the afternoon off of work today and drove up to Darlington to spend some time with Moses. It was so cold and windy -- reminded me of the day we laid him to rest. Just being there brought a rush of emotions that I haven't really let myself feel until the past year or so. I think that I am finally coming to grips with the loss and my emotions. And that is a good thing.
Abraham got a balloon at dinner and on the way home, out of the clear blue without me saying anything about Moses, told me that he wanted to send his balloon to Moses. I had him repeat what he said just to make sure! He again said Moses needed his balloon. So he did -- and called to Moses as we watched the balloon drift towards the sky. I imagine the older he gets, he may feel that there is something missing.
So today I remember the sweet boy who I had the privilege to carry for 7 months -- and the blessing to hold in my arms for 1 month. He touched so many lives in his short life. That is the legacy he leaves behind.
Moses - 1 day before Hopkins