Tuesday, September 23, 2008

For what it's worth...

For what it's worth...

This thought might only apply to working moms (but maybe not). I had an epiphany the other day as I was doing the million and one things that I do at night. In a span of a little less than 3 hours, I had: made dinner, cleaned up dinner, made lunch for Michael, swept and mopped the kitchen floor (it's small don't get too excited!), threw a load of wash in, cleaned the bathroom (it's small too!) read with Abraham for 20 minutes, put him to bed, worked on stuff for school, and worked on stuff for my Masters (and this is no short task).

Phew! That wore me out just typing it! As I sat on the couch with Michael, huffing about there not being enough hours in the day to do all that I need to do... I began to wonder what exactly was making me feel that I HAD to do all that in one night. I don't know, and maybe I'm off base on this one, but I think that I have serious issues with GUILT when I don't do the things that I FEEL I need to do. I think that I feel I am supposed to do those things at night because it is what is expected of me as a "GOOD" mom - that is what I to do to care for my family - even if it means not spending time with Abraham when he asks me to play with him or sitting on the couch and talking with Michael about his day. Don't get me wrong, some of that stuff does HAVE to be done, like feeding my family, but when it takes away from time with my boys, that is what bothers me.

I really think that there are nights that I make myself do all that STUFF and kill myself, not getting enough sleep, because I have found that my worth as a"GOOD MOM" is caught up in what I DO. When is that really it?

I don't know if any other working moms have ever felt this way but I sure do - just being REAL here! It is really hard to work all day long, in a job that can be somewhat stressful at times, then come home to what looks like MOUNDS of work.

But my worth as a mom isn't in what I DO but who I AM and the TIME that I spend with my son and husband. Love is spoken loudly in the time that I spend with them... not in the lunches that I make or the clothes that I clean.

Here is what I concluded:

MOMS don't always get their kids yearly pictures taken - but they DO love on their screaming baby girl who needs her mommy. :)

MOMS don't always get the laundry done - but they DO spend time playing "cars" with their son.

MOMS don't always get posts on their blog - but they DO sit down and have dinner with their kids, asking them about their day.

MOMS don't always make dinner every night - but they DO cuddle in bed with their kids, reading books before bed.

I'm not 100% sure where this post is or was going. All I know is that I am a WORKING MOM who is realizing that I don't have to DO anything to make me a GOOD MOM... I just am!

For what it's worth...

** Disclaimer: I am by no means minimizing all the work that SAHM's do on a daily basis. Please know that I admire all SAHM's and I acknowledge that you work hard at home during the day as well. My mom was a SAHM and so was my sister up until recently - so I know that it takes a lot to keep a home running. **


Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

It is so good to know I am not alone. It's funny because your evening sounds very familiar! I, too, need to remember that some of these things don't really matter. My husband matters, my kids matter, but everything else...not so much. Of course, we want to take care of our household because it is what we are called to do, but even God rested, right?? So when are we going to throw caution to the wind and go on strike?? From everything except being a wife and mom and living life to its fullest.

Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

Oh and I meant to tell you how much I love your design!! Makes me want a makeover although I do love my header. The colors are so bright definitely perfect for your tagline. TGIF.